“Schmidt My Husband Says” #2

Welcome to the second edition.  I wish this could be a weekly thing but it’s hard to keep track of all the funny stuff David says.  Now, I understand that some of the things I tell y’all that he says aren’t funny to you.  For that I am sorry that you cannot fathom the hilariousness from my husband.

 

We like to watch on National Geographic “Doomsday Preppers.”  In our house, we are preppers, but not to the extreme that some of these loonies are.  We are more in the sense preppers for natural disasters.  We’ve got our safe room with extra supplies.  But for zombies??  Alien attacks?  Psh.  Those people our “nucking futs.”

But as we were watching one night, one family was saying that they were scared about no food being available and they had a couple cats.  And of course in their neighborhood, you know there had to be others with cats.

David pipes in, “I’ve eaten cat before.”  (He was in the Marines and was overseas for awhile.) “I like eating kitty.  It was tasty!”  And you have to understand the tone he was saying it in.  You’d die too, like I did.

 

Our daughter has a Disney Princess plastic cup that she gets to drink out of during dinner.  We were going through all the princesses on the cup.  Asking her who her favorite is, etc.

David asks me, “I thought Snow White was your favorite?”

I respond, “No, it’s Aurora, Sleeping Beauty.  I mean serious, she can sleep for that long and wake up looking that great!”

He responds, “But I do that all the time!”

Of course he does.  And of course, our two boys roll their eyes.

 

David recently introduced me to the Bourne trilogy movies.  I was making a comparison to Bourne Identity to Bourne Ultimatum and it dawned on me that Albert Finney was in the movie.

I say, “Oh Albert Finney!  He was Daddy Warbucks in Annie!!”

David: “I used to like that movie Annie!”

Me: “What happened?”

David:  “I grew up.”

Me: “Oh yeah?”

David: “Yup, I became a man.”

Ok, I’ll give him that.  He says the same about Sound of Music.

 

We also like watching Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives (or however it goes, we’ll just call it Triple D) on Food Network.  Guy Fieri was at a place where they had donuts covered in bacon.  David pipes in and tells me that donuts are called “Cop Steaks,” which cracked me up since we know so many cops.  And they go on to talk more about bacon.  David loves bacon.  Almost as much as he loves me (and if he’s reading this right now, he might go to say he loves bacon possibly more than me, I’m ok with that.  Bacon is tasty… but I digress).

David then tells me he likes he bacon sprinkled with bacon bits.  And some mornings when we’re home together and we make breakfast, he says, “I want bacon, eggs, and bacon.”  And we recently saw these on Facebook:

Image Source

And he insists that we’re going to try these one day.

So, there we have it.  Hopefully, really soon, I’ll be able to update what has been going on since I’ve posted this.  We’re making some great headway and we can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel!!